Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Randomize
