I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Let's paint friendship bongs
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
