I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
