i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
