i don't plan on having that self control this summer
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
