it hurts more in the daytime
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
