I can tuck mytits in my pants
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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