You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
