Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
