call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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