Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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