small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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