I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
