I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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