If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
