ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
