TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
