my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
