so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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