the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
