Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
and she was petting her beer can
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
