Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
My dick has a subreddit
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