I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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