Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
