return my video game
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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