I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
