I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
