hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
soo... how was my night?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
