Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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