Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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