when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
