those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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