why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
