I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I did not marry a roomba.
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