My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
