he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
How does it feel to date your dad?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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