So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
