How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize