It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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