I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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