I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
