batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
