I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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