We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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