Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Randomize
