k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize