yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Randomize
