Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Randomize
