You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Randomize
