I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
We need a shit load of segways right now
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
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