I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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