Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
