dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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