He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
