the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
