No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
