Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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