Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
