Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
