Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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