when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
