I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
