He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
