I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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