Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
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