I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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