Can i not drive my cunt home
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
