You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
