Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
